"In The Classic of Mountains and Seas, Phoenixes have two genders – Feng the feminine and Huang the masculine. But only the feminine side prevails in later Chinese legends. An empress in no exception embodies Feng Huang, celestial bird of the high heaven.
We are talking about a grand bird of five-colored feathers that manifests peace, mercy and kindness. And when present it is said the magnificent beings always glow with the sheen of sunshine - an auspicious sight few has the luck to see. Almost as hard to get a glimpse of are their earthly embodiments. Chinese empresses often waste their lives in the shadow of forbidden walls.
This (referring to the illustration) is a story of reminiscence. On that day, the emperor wedded a woman and made her a phoenix. Truly phoenix she was. Her crown was one of purest gold topped by a finely made phoenix of the most precious of precious stones. Her garment was elaborate, embroidered with gold, silver and five-colored threads that it shone the iridescence of a phoenix. So she was dressed and led to the throne. An auspicious day it was in the empire. The old prisoners were pardoned. A new prisoner was caged. The lady of that day would recall."
I'm in awe of this, as I completely identify with this. Not to say that I'm an empress or anything, but for a while, looking back now, I was "wasting my life in the shadow of forbidden walls." His description of a phoenix, "a grand bird of five-colored feathers that manifests peace, mercy and kindness" are qualities that I hold in high regard. And this is kind of cheesy, but now I feel like Luis is my emperor, as he has and continues to enable me to be me, and provide me with so much love and support in everything that I do. Having that, without having to compromise my values and beliefs and still being a completely independent mind and being, only further strengthens me and allows me to continue my journey of self-discovery.
This next illustration, by the same artist is titled "Phoenix II."
"Three thousand hairs are three thousand karmas. In the far kingdom of east, a lady never cuts her hair which is a present to her birth. And when she does, it is a reborn."
It's crazy how much this exemplifies my "rebirths," as I have completely chopped (SHORT!) my long hair 3 times in my life, 2 of the times being right after I graduated from both high school and college. Both of my graduation pictures with cap and gown I have long, long hair. And graduation is surely a "rite of passage", hence the symbolism I am finding with this. The third time I cut my hair was about 4 months after I separated. I have since kept my hair short for the past 2 years, and only now am starting to grow it out again.
It's amazing to be able to identify with something that is so ancient, such as a mystical figure and the legend behind it. Especially one that is culturally driven, although I am not Chinese, I am most surely rooted in the Far East. How is it that something so ancient and historical can tie so directly in with my life experiences and perspectives? I have a phoenix tattooed on my back, and interestingly enough I got it BEFORE I truly understood its symbolism. And I am just now finding more literature about the phoenix, and to find something like this just blows me away. But it makes me so happy, like that feeling when everything falls into place, because there somehow now is more meaning and significance to my actions (specifically with cutting my hair) in my past. And also to feel that the love of my life is enabling me to continue to grow - I know all too well now what it feels like to be held back, and to be in a relationship where I'm being encouraged to learn and grow, what more can I ask for.
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