The Master Cleanse: Directions, Tips, Tricks, and Recipes

Here are the basic directions for 'The Master Cleanse aka The Lemonade Diet' and my own personal tips and tricks from my first experience with the cleanse.

Before starting the Master Cleanse, please go to healthandlight.com/TheMasterCleanse.pdf as it is the original text of "The Master Cleanser" written by Stanley Burroughs. He gives detailed, comprehensive explanations as to why the cleanse works and the many reasons we should take part in this regimen. He also talks about common misconceptions about the human diet and the things that can contribute to disease. This cleanse aims to rid the body of those toxins, as our digestive system seems to build them up on the walls of our system over time. Here are the basic instructions, including how to break the fast, recipes, along with a list of all the supplies you'll need.

PLEASE NOTE: This is a cleanse, it is NOT used to lose weight, although weight loss is a side effect. Weight lost during the cleanse is usually gained back quickly if 'normal' (what you were eating before the cleanse) eating habits resume after the cleanse. Mr. Burroughs actually advocates taking your diet to strictly nuts, seed, fruits, and vegetables after the cleanse. I'm not going that far yet, however, I am making drastic changes (now a seafood vegetarian). The cleanse definitely curbs your cravings for junk food, and if you eat junk food after the cleanse, it will definitely make you feel terrible. Word of advice: LISTEN TO YOUR BODY. Listen to it while on the cleanse, and definitely after. The cleanse will definitely help you to be able to tune-in to your body and listen to it. Then it's up to you to continue. One cleanse disciple (www.master-cleanse.info) puts it best: "Clean up your act; get on with your life! If you are someone who discounts his/her own body’s voice, who is blindly obedient to external authority figures, then this is probably not the diet for you. However if you are an independent thinker, ready to try it and pay attention to how you really feel and take appropriate action then, this could be the beginning of a lifelong love affair. A love affair? Yes, between you and your body."

BASIC DIRECTIONS FOR THE MASTER CLEANSE

It is recommended that the cleanse be followed for a minimum of ten days or more - usually the sign that you're ready to come off the cleanse is when the tongue loses its furry white coating that occurs during the cleanse and becomes pink again. I personally should have probably stayed on the cleanse for maybe a day or two longer, as my tongue was just starting to clear up on Day 10, but I ended it as I just wanted to start eating normally again. Not that I didn't reap any benefits, I just didn't fully clean myself out. But, that's OK too, any cleansing is positive step in the right directions with regards to health, and now that I'm changing my lifestyle with regards to food, I'm sure my body will be able to detox itself more effectively than it ever did before.

It is also recommended that you have at least one bowel movement (POOP! hahaha) a day to effectively perform the cleanse.

1. The night before starting the cleanse, drink a cup of herbal laxative tea (I'll put more details about this in the list of supplies you'll need below.) before bedtime.

2. First thing in the morning, drink the Salt Water Flush (also detailed later). It is critical that this is done on an empty stomach.

3. Drink 6-8 servings of 'The Lemonade' (recipe to follow) throughout the day. Also drink spring or distilled water as needed.

4. Finish the day with a cup of herbal laxative tea before bedtime.

5. Repeat this for a minimum of ten days. On the last night it is not necessary to drink the laxative tea.

6. Coming off the cleanse is just as important - if you try to put food in your system right away after depriving it of solid substances for ten days, you could feel very sick (nauseous) and in extreme cases (although I have not seen reports) death can occur. This goes with any fast (depriving your body of food for a period of time)! On the first day after the cleanse is finished, drink fresh squeezed orange juice all day.

7. The second day after the cleanse is finished, have fresh squeezed OJ in the morning. For lunch, have some soup broth (from the vegetable soup that you will be making, recipe below). For dinner, have the vegetable soup. Rye wafers can be eaten with the soup, but sparingly.

8. On the third day, have OJ in the morning, soup for lunch, and then raw fruits and veggies for dinner. Normal eating can then be resumed the next day.

RECIPES

SALT WATER FLUSH
32 oz. Warm or lukewarm water
2 tsp. Sea Salt

TIP: It is recommended that this is consumed within 15 minutes, or as fast as possible, so that it has the best 'flushing' effect on your system. This can be difficult as it doesn't taste that great, but I imagined it tasting like chicken broth without the chicken flavor, which helps. I also preferred drinking it warm or semi-hot (so that it was easier to drink down faster) as it didn't seem as salty.

TIP: Beware of the immediate effects! The flush can start working as quickly as 15-20 minutes after finishing it. Be prepared to frequent the toilet for about an hour or maybe two (depending on how long it took you to finish it). You will literally PEE out of your butt, but it's not painful. If you feel like you have to fart during this time (or during any time while cleansing) it most likely is NOT a fart... Just go to the toilet to be safe!

THE LEMONADE
1 Serving
2 tbsp. fresh squeezed lemon or lime juice (no substitutes!)
2 tbsp. Grade B Organic Maple Syrup
1/10 tsp. cayenne pepper
8 oz. spring/distilled water at room temperature

6 Servings (can be made in a 64 oz. bottle)
3/4 cup fresh squeezed lemon or lime juice
3/4 cup Grade B Organic Maple Syrup
6/10 tsp. (rounded 1/2 tsp.) cayenne pepper
6 cups spring/distilled water

TIP: I took a 64 oz. plastic juice container, taking the label off completely. I then measured out each ingredient that's supposed to go into the container with water, marking each ingredient added with a line using permanent marker. So, I measured out 3/4 cup of water (for the lemon juice), poured in the bottle, and marked a line on the bottle; then measured another 3/4 cup of water (for the syrup), added to the bottle, marked another line; poured in another 6 cups of water and marked a final line on the bottle. I figured that measuring out the maple syrup accurately would be much easier to pour it straight into the bottle, rather than having to transfer the syrup from spoon to bottle as it is super sticky. Plus, there's less clean-up! Now you can make 6 servings (the minimum daily amount recommended) of lemonade each morning, just add ingredients to the bottle and shake it up!

TIP: Not all lemons yield the same amount of juice. I would juice up about ten lemons and save the juice in a bottle in the fridge. That way I would have enough juice for a few days, and when I ran out, I would just juice some more. I used a plastic hand juicer I found at Bed, Bath, & Beyond for $5.

VEGETABLE SOUP
1 Carrot
1 Onion
1 Celery Stalk
1 Zucchini
2 Red Potatoes
1 cup Broccoli
1 cup Cauliflower
1 Green Bell Pepper
2 Roma Tomatoes
5 leaves Fresh Basil
1 clove Minced Garlic (or 1 tsp. dried minced garlic)
1/2 cup uncooked Brown Rice
1 tsp. Sea Salt
1 tsp. Cayenne Pepper
32 oz. Organic Vegetable Broth

Chop all ingredients into bite size pieces. Put all vegetables, rice, and seasonings into a large pot. Add vegetable broth; add additional water until all the vegetables are covered. Bring to a boil. Cover and simmer on low for 2-2.5 hours.

OR

Put all vegetables, rice, and seasonings in a large crock pot/slow cooker. Add broth and additional water until vegetables are covered. Cook on low for 6-8 hours. Add additional water if the soup is very thick.

TIP: You can use whatever veggies that you like, this is my combination of vegetables that I like, but including a lot of what the book recommends, which is: one or two types of legumes, potatoes, celery, carrots, green vegetable tops, onion, etc. You can used dehydrated vegetables for more flavor, maybe even a little curry. But, use seasonings sparingly as it is recommended to get used to tasting the vegetables by themselves.

TIP: I made the veggie soup in the crock pot and liked that the broth turned out a little thicker than if you made it on the stove. This is partly because of the rice being cooked so long, but it also stewed the vegetables more so the broth was a little more flavorful. Expect the soup to be pretty bland, especially if you were used to eating savory things before. This recipe should be plenty for the broth, soup for dinner, and soup for lunch when coming off the cleanse. My friend Jenny cooked the soup the night before and then just put it in the fridge for the next day. Her vegetables stayed more in tact, so if you're looking forward to crunching on something for that first soup dinner, making the soup on the stove would be to your advantage.

LIST OF SUPPLIES (everything you'll need)

10 gallons Spring or Distilled Water
30-40 Lemons
3-4 750ml bottles of Grade B Maple Syrup (I found mine at Trader Joe's)
1 small bottle Cayenne Pepper (found in the seasoning section at any supermarket)
1 bottle Sea Salt (also found at Trader Joe's)
1 box Herbal Laxative Tea or Senna Tea (Triple Leaf Herbal Laxative OR Smooth Move Tea)
(didn't see this at Trader Joe's, they might have had it, but found it at Clark's)

TIP: I drank only six servings a day and went through less than 30 lemons, as my lemons were quite juicy, and I used a hand juicer so I could get as much juice as possible. I also went through just about 3 bottles of maple syrup (I didn't think I'd need that much!). But, if you decided you want to drink 8 servings a day, be prepared with an extra bottle of syrup and extra lemons.

MORE TIPS!

*** You will be using the bathroom frequently and passing mostly liquid waste. I recommend getting some personal wipes so that you feel cleaner during the day... Just a suggestion. =)

*** The laxative tea can cause stomach cramps (as they did with me), which is ok. But if it is unbearable, then try skipping the tea one night. If it continues to cause pain, then you can skip the tea at night. The tea is just to help get things moving. The book also says that if diarrhea occurs after taking the tea to stop taking the tea at night until diarrhea stops.

*** If the salt water flush makes you feel sick or is extremely difficult to even get down (everyone is different), then you can substitute the laxative tea in the morning instead of doing the salt water flush.

*** LISTEN TO YOUR BODY!!! It is not necessary to drink the laxative tea or the salt water flush - the lemonade by itself is a cleansing agent. The tea and flush used in conjunction with the lemonade on a daily basis speeds up the process, but if your body doesn't want to deal with either of those, then don't! Part of this cleanse is to start tuning into your body and what it's telling you, so LISTEN! Everyone has a different experience, so do what you feel is right for you.

*** Your tongue will become furry and white during the cleanse, this is to be expected. In fact, your tongue should be used as an indicator as to when you should stop the cleanse - if it is still furry by Day 10 of the cleanse, you should continue the cleanse until it is fully pink again. My tongue was still a little furry on the last day, but I ended the cleanse anyway - the result, a bit of gas when I changed from the lemonade to OJ to soup. The book even says that "If, after eating is resumed, distress or gas occurs, it is suggested that the lemonade diet be continued for several more days until the system is ready for food." I definitely experienced gas when I started breaking the cleanse, but I already knew I wasn't quite done because my tongue was a bit furry, so it was definitely to be expected. It's ok though, I got through ten days this first time, next time I will stay on it until my tongue returns to being pink again.

*** You should have lots of energy during the cleanse, the lemonade definitely keeps you feeling sustained and upbeat. Keep busy and try not to watch TV as TV commercials can be really distracting. I was able to watch TV, but towards the end it was a bit torturous and made me anxious to want to start eating food again. But, now that I'm eating again, I'm finding that I can't eat as much (I know my stomach shrank a bit) and healthy foods are actually very tasty and satisfying!

*** This is not only a physical cleanse, but a mental and emotional one as well. There might be a point in your cleanse where you feel terrible, both physically and mentally. This is absolutely normal. Toxins in your system are what contribute to physical and emotional pain, so the fact that their getting stirred up is definitely going to affect your system and mood. When this occurs, try to get to the bottom of your feelings and why you're reacting the way you are. You'll find out some interesting stuff - I sure did! =D This goes back to listening to your body! You'll also find how many connections we make with regards to food; when you cut that out for a little while, you realize that you have to face certain issues without resorting to your crutch. Anyone who is an emotional eater can definitely benefit from this cleanse!

*** Read other people's blogs who have done the cleanse. There are links to several blogs of people who have done the cleanse off of http://www.master-cleanse.info/. I liked reading about what to possibly expect and see the different experiences of each person on a day-to-day basis. I could compare and contrast and know that others have gone through this, and made it through it, as well. And write down (or blog) your own account of the cleanse! If anything, for yourself so you can have a reference point should you do the cleanse again in the future.

*** This cleanse aids in kick-starting your life into a healthier one, one that nurtures your body, which in turn, houses and nurtures your mind. By taking care of yourself physically, you can create more opportunities for yourself to find happiness in life in general. You begin to look at things differently and are able to see that you are more in control of yourself and your life than you realize. It all starts at 'home', and when you start feeling good because you're taking care of yourself, it extends out into the world and magnetizes positivity to you. I know I sound like I'm about to start selling tie-dye and crystals here, but this is what I truly believe. I'm planning on cleansing at least once a year - I learned a lot about myself during my first one, and I imagine that with each subsequent cleanse I will discover other things that I need to work on with myself. YOU are a constant body of work - the working on yourself never stops, and the more you strive to grow and learn, the more you will discover, including the keys to happiness and serenity...

HAPPY CLEANSING!

The Master Cleanse

I've always been somewhat 'health-conscious,' part of that coming from my dad, but over the past two years I've sort of let that all go. Mainly because when I was working out and eating ultra-healthy I was really obsessive about it, all of that stemming from image issues that I've had since I was a competitive ice skater back in high school. So, in order to confront my image issue, I really had to let all the behaviors associated with it go out the door, so I stopped going to the gym, started eating fast food again, and started smoking cigarettes again (I hadn't smoked in a year after smoking for about 9 years). Interestingly, when I dropped my obsession, my body actually started looking better. I was such a gym rat and into lifting heavy weights (that was one way to convince myself that I was at the gym to get stronger, not thinner) that I was starting to look like a body builder, not the gross steroid-pumped women on TV but I was so muscular that I was having a difficult time buying clothes that fit nicely. When I went the opposite way, I'm sure my body fat percentage went way up, my muscle mass went down, and all of a sudden I had curves and a butt! (I was made fun of for having a flat butt for a long time.) It's been three years since I've left the gym, now the only healthy habit I have left is practicing yoga.

I had heard of the 'Master Cleanse' aka 'The Lemonade Diet' before, my friend Jenny had a friend who had done it a few months ago and posted a blog about her daily experience with it. I read her blog, and at the time, I thought it was crazy to essentially fast for ten days and drink this spicy lemonade, along with doing a salt water flush in the mornings and having an herbal laxative tea (senna tea) at night before bed. Essentially, the 'Master Cleanse' is used to clear out toxins and build up of waste that isn't completely cleared out of your system. Of course, a side-effect is weight loss, and it is not recommended to use the 'Master Cleanse' primarily for weight loss, although that seems to be the trend these days, unfortunately. I feel that using this for weight loss completely detracts from the real reason this cleanse was originally developed. However, most of the information on the web about this definitely boasts about the internal and overall health benefits. The idea of clearing out the build up of toxins and waste in your body aids in preventing those 'bad' things from eventually being absorbed into your system (even though your body ideally should eliminate all waste products, it doesn't!) and ultimately causing diabetes or cancer, for example. Also, the build up of toxins in your system also leads to how you feel overall, physically and mentally. I found this blog, http://www.master-cleanse.info/, to be extremely informative, on top of outlining exactly what you need (ingredients, recipes, what to do and when), plus she is better able to articulate the reasons why this cleanse is SO good for you with regards to detox. Another website, actually a PDF document, http://healthandlight.com/TheMasterCleanse.pdf, actually has most of the original text written by Stanley Burroughs from "The Master Cleanser." The former website is much easier to read through if you only want instructions, but the latter has more detailed, scientific perspectives and explanations as to why and how this works. The concept of this makes complete sense to me, and after doing extensive research on the Internet, including reading several blogs, all information I've found has been very positive, with everyone who has tried the cleanse boasting about how great they feel afterwards on top of the increased energy (all were able to go about their daily lives, including exercising) they feel during the cleanse. Of course, western perspectives of doctors and nutritionists indicate that the cleanse isn't good for you, but of course, I've always leaned more towards holistic/homeopathic medicine, adopting a more eastern perspective myself. So, here I am, thinking a lot about how I'm not taking care of myself, aside from doing yoga, and how it's about time I did, so why not try this out to kick start my new and healthy lifestyle I want. I'm actually not going to smoke, cigarettes included, for the duration of the cleanse, so as to reap the full benefits by not putting any toxins in my body at all. Who knows, I may quit by the end (cigarettes that is)! The following is a day by day account of my personal experience with the cleanse. Beware, there are some detailed accounts of bowel movements included, but I will warn of them in case no one wants to know.

EVENING BEFORE DAY 1: January 7, 2008

Luis, the puppies, and I went to Jenny and Sarah's house for dinner. I actually told Jenny before we went over that I was going to start the cleanse tomorrow (since we had made plans for dinner a while ago, I had only decided that I was going to do the cleanse a few days before), and interestingly, she was contemplating doing it herself, as her friend who had done it before mentioned that she was going to do the cleanse again, so she was thinking about doing it with her. How convenient! So Jenny decided she wanted to do the cleanse with me (we also convinced Sarah to do it with us, but she's starting a day later than us) and we ran out to Trader Joe's to get all of the ingredients (Luis stayed behind with the puppies, thank goodness the BCS National Championship game was on) - lemons, spring/distilled water, cayenne pepper, Grade B organic maple syrup, sea salt, and senna tea. We thought we could find all of the ingredients at Trader Joe's, but they didn't have the tea (or else we passed over it), sufficient lemons, or cayenne pepper. Luckily there is a Vons next door, so we decided we would get our water, lemons, and cayenne pepper over there. I knew Vons would not have the tea, so we decided we would go to Clark's (a nutritional food store also nearby) after we ate dinner, I was sure that they would have it there. We went to Vons and got our water and cayenne pepper. The lemons were $1.00 each, and knowing that I needed to buy at least 30 lemons, if not 40, that was a big fat 'no' on those. So I decided we could try Clark's for the lemons as they sell organic produce (recommended for the cleanse) since we had to go there to look for the tea. I was thinking that I would eat well for dinner, but I guess I had been mentally preparing myself for this ten-day fast and barely ate; just goes to show you the power of the mind! Clark's proved to be successful as we found the tea and lemons there - the lemons were $0.25 each instead, what a difference! We were now ready to start, the first step being having the senna tea before bed.

I wasn't sure how the tea was going to taste, but it actually is no different than other herbal teas, so it was pleasant to drink. I had read that the tea would likely cause slight stomach pain the first couple of nights along with possibly having to get up to go to the restroom in the middle of the night, so I anticipated that. Here goes!

DAY 1: January 8, 2008

I did end up waking up in the middle of the night to use the restroom, along with experiencing some slight stomach pain, but nothing to complain about. First thing upon waking up, I did the salt water flush, which involves drinking a quart of water mixed with two teaspoons of sea salt in ideally fifteen minutes so as to get the maximum effect. I knew that it would be not too long before I would have to use the restroom, a blogger on the subject had warned that that would happen and to be sure to have emptied out completely (you probably would have to use the restroom a couple times before you were completely done). Drinking down the salt water was a bit of a challenge, but it wasn't too bad. One blogger had mentioned that it kind of tastes like chicken soup with less flavor, so when I thought of it tasting like chicken broth, it was much easier. Now, they weren't kidding when they said that the flush would work very quickly. I was in the restroom about 20 minutes after finishing the flush. OK, for those who don't want to hear about the details of what happened in the restroom, skip forward to the next paragraph! All I can say is that I now know what it is like to literally pee out of your butt. Hahaha, sounds funny writing it, but seriously, that's what happened. I had to return to the restroom about 4 times before I was finished. All I knew is that when I felt like I had to fart, it wasn't going to be a fart. LOL I find poop talk to be hilarious, and hopefully whoever reads this can appreciate that. =P The rest of the day was manageable, although all visits to the restroom involved mostly liquid defecation, I'm sure the solid parts are what's leftover from the day before and some built up waste products (to be expected since I am only consuming liquids). It's should be interesting when it gets closer to the end of the cleanse, apparently by that point you'll start passing solid waste which is the bulk of toxins that have just been sitting in your system.

Onto making the lemonade, I took a 64 oz. plastic juice bottle to use as my mixing container (to make 4 servings easily), measuring out the amount of each ingredient (at first using all water to get accurate volume) and marking off the bottle for each added ingredient so it would be easy to make the mixture on a daily basis. Besides, I knew it would be difficult to get all of the maple syrup off the measuring spoon, why not pour it directly into the mixing bottle? And one of the bloggers mentioned that the lemonade tasted much better being made on a daily basis rather than making a huge batch of it and saving it. The lemonade actually tastes pretty good, the cayenne adds a nice kick to it without making it taste weird. Luis made eggs and bacon this morning, which smelled nice, but I was not at all tempted. I noticed a slight hungry feeling when I went out to run some errands around noon, but that was easily satiated by drinking some of the lemonade. My energy was fine all day, I was in a good mood, and I was motivated to be productive, which I was! I actually accomplished a lot of things I had been putting off today, I'm sure keeping busy helped keep my mind off of food as well. Being that my energy was good, I decided to do some yoga in the afternoon. After that I noticed a significant increase in hunger pangs, which were again satiated by the lemonade. Now I'm just waiting to have my tea and go to bed. I'm anticipating having to get up in the middle of the night again, but this should only go on for the next night or so, which I can manage since it's to be expected. Day 1 is just about over!

DAY 2: January 9, 2008

I actually didn't wake up in the middle of the night, but I did wake up with some stomach pains and went to the bathroom right away. I actually was looking forward to the salt water flush so as to help pass all the stuff I felt building up in my colon. I was reviewing some of the blogs on the cleanse last night and there was a suggestion to actually drink the salt water flush hot rather than lukewarm, so I tried that this morning. It was much easier to get down quickly this time and I made sure to wake up early enough to ensure all of the fluids would pass through as I had a doctor's appointment at 9:30am. I finished drinking the flush by 6:30 and paid attention to the clock to see how long it would be before I was completely 'done' as I know I have to leave the house to take care of errands all throughout this and next week. I was 'all done' by 8:00 which gave me plenty of time to get ready and get to my appointment. The thought of food entered my mind several times, when that happened I felt myself thinking, "What am I going to eat?", almost forgetting I was doing the cleanse, but after remembering I was doing the cleanse, that passed quickly. The lemonade is definitely satiating, the spicy aspect of it definitely quenches my 'salty' cravings. I've always been more of a 'salty' snacker rather than having a sweet tooth. I also thought a lot about the 'not smoking' factor and I'm sure that will have an effect on my hunger as well. I usually smoke about a 5-8 cigarettes a day, and I didn't touch one yesterday. I'm actually feeling really good, really alert, and have good energy. I've also decided that I'm definitely going to quit smoking after this cleanse. The more I think about being healthy, the more I want to stop putting bad things into my body, including one of the worst possible things, cigarettes. One blogger mentioned how after she got off the cleanse, she only had cravings for healthy things, and even trying bites of junk food made her feel gross. I've also been considering becoming an ovo-lacto vegetarian after or possibly seafood vegetarian, I want to focus on eating more fruits and vegetables (which we have been eating very little), and I actually really like tofu. I mentioned seafood vegetarian as salmon is just so good and good for you. Maybe every once in a while I'll have some fish, but then again I still haven't decided exactly what I want to do in that department yet. Definitely need to increase the raw fruits and veggies though, that has definitely been lacking in my diet for the past couple of years.

This evening has proved to be extremely challenging for me. I'm feeling very tired, and I'm attributing that to waking up at the crack of dawn along with the expectation that the removal of toxins is going to make me feel a bit under the weather. Lots of bloggers say that around day three and four it's the hardest because that's when the toxins really start getting stirred up and out. Even the original text sites that the stirring up of toxins can most definitely cause ill feelings. I'm thinking that maybe it's coming a little earlier for me being that I'm relatively small and already have a pretty high metabolism. Also, yoga aids in toxin removal, inverted poses help toxins from settling and twisting poses help essentially twist toxins out of not only the spine but organs as well. It was difficult because at one point I felt that I really wanted to eat and even considered breaking the fast. In any case, I stayed strong and after having more lemonade I felt much better. I'm definitely going to bed a bit earlier tonight anyway - I have a test for a job in the morning so I must wake up early enough so I can do the salt water flush before the test. Maybe because I've also consistently done the flush in the morning along with the tea at night that I'm speeding up the toxin removal process as well. Looking forward to the tea as it's really cold right now and I'm sure it'll help me sleep, although I did sleep pretty deeply last night.

Note: Many people report heightened senses while on the fast. I definitely experienced that last night. Luis put some coffee in the coffee pot so he would have some in the morning and when he came upstairs I could smell it very strongly, even when he walked a little bit away from me. They also say that they sleep better, which I experienced last night, aside from having to wake up early this morning. I'm definitely looking forward to sleeping tonight. I also noticed that my tongue is getting furry, but that's to be expected as well. Keep on, keep on.

DAY 3: January 10, 2008

I actually woke up in the middle of the night to use the restroom, but there was no abdominal pain to my surprise. However, the abdominal pain started shortly after I got up this morning and to my surprise, I started passing somewhat solid, dark waste, essentially the beginning of the elimination of toxins. My tongue is still furry, but when that clears up, it is a sign that the toxin releasing is just about done. I slept very deeply last night, my dreams were more clear than usual and I actually remember what I dreamt about (I usually am aware that I had a dream but the details are always difficult to remember). I prepared my salt water flush semi-hot again this morning, that definitely makes it so much easier to drink and stomach. I actually look forward to the salt water flush in the mornings as the tea seems to get things moving along in the digestive system sort of making me feel constipated, but the flush really clears everything out that the tea has built up over the night. It just feels weird to have to run to the bathroom every ten minutes, but at least that's to be expected and I'm up early enough to ensure that I get that all out of my system before I have to leave the house.

I really have not been hungry all day, but I'm attributing that partly to the slight depression I felt after failing my test today. When I got home I REALLY wanted to smoke a cigarette, but I stopped myself. I have health at the forefront of my mind and I'm determined to stick with this through Day 10! So, it hasn't been a challenge with regards to food. I'm finding that the more aware I am of my cravings for anything, the easier it is to let it go, keeping in mind my goal. I actually haven't drank much of the lemonade today, but my energy is still good and I'm feeling much better than I did yesterday, probably because I passed those toxins this morning. I'm glad that this goes on for so long, it's definitely a testament of my will and I know after going through this challenge (quitting smoking during this included) that I will be able to tackle any obstacle that comes my way in the future. But geez was it hard to not smoke, especially after that 'failure' today. =/ It's funny because I was able to pick up chinese food for Luis for dinner (it did smell super good) but that didn't phase me as much as wanting to smoke. But, that eventually passed and now I'm doing fine. I'm also surprised that I didn't have to use the restroom as much today as the past two days, not sure why that is... yet... I'll figure it out. =) Time for tea!

DAY 4: January 11, 2008

Didn't have to wake up in the middle of the night and I didn't experience any stomach pains this morning. I checked out some more blogs this morning and one guy mentions around Day 9 that he didn't use the restroom that much, just peed a lot, which is what happened to me yesterday. So, it happens, but I'm wondering why I'm experiencing this so early on? My tongue looks more furry and white today, to be expected, but is not bothersome. Salt water flush went down fine, I'm finding that by drinking it steadily (sip by sip) it goes down much easier than trying to chug it. I almost threw up yesterday because I tried to drink it too fast (some bloggers report actually throwing up from the flush). The flush is working faster and faster now, and it seems like I'm running to the bathroom more often this morning, although it sort of makes up for yesterday. I also made a point to practice yoga this morning (caught my 9am class on Veria - awesome channel! For those who have Dish Network, it's channel 9575) and am definitely feeling full of energy. I have been thinking a lot about food, but it's nothing that's making me crazy. I'm just looking forward to a week from Monday - I made plans with my friend Brittney to go to dinner; that'll be the first day that I can have real food, as it does take three days to come off the fast. I'm even looking forward to the vegetable soup I get to make for days 2 and 3 after the fast is over. I just love food... but food will be there when I'm done, just gotta keep reminding myself why I'm doing this.

I'm feeling extremely cranky and emotional this evening, but I realized that it's about that time of the month, so I'm sure PMS is contributing. I also physically feel a bit 'blah', I'm guessing that I'm stirring up more toxins that could possibly pass tomorrow morning. I'm, in a small way, thankful that I'm not working right now so that I can deal with all the yucky side affects at home.

DAY 5: January 12, 2008

Today has been a day of ups and downs. I was still emotional when I woke up (I slept for 12 hours), but after I finished the salt water flush and had some lemonade, I started feeling better. I'm sure PMS, not smoking cigarettes, or other stuff for that matter, all has a compounding effect on me. I actually got up twice last night to use the restroom and definitely passed some toxins this morning. I was productive today though; the entire house got vacuumed and I completed some more job applications online. I'm still a bit 'fragile' with regards to emotions this evening, it's really tough feeling like you're not in control of yourself. I haven't felt this out of control of my emotions in a really long time, especially two days in a row. This will pass though, just like everything else in life - nothing is permanent...

Jenny mentioned something to me today that I hadn't thought of with regards to the cleanse - dental hygiene. Since we're drinking lemonade most of the day, your teeth are subject to high amounts of acid, which can wear down your tooth enamel. She suggested to at least rinse your mouth out with water after having some lemonade or brush your teeth. I decided to rinse my mouth out with some tap water after talking to her and to my surprise, I could actually taste all the additives, and whatever they put in tap water, very strongly. I used to drink our tap water since it isn't that bad out here, but now that I got a taste while on the cleanse, I will not drink tap water again!

Day 5 has come to an end... on to the next!

DAY 6: January 13, 2008

I can't believe I'm more than halfway through this thing! All I can say is that I can't wait to eat food again. It's not difficult to stay committed to the cleanse, I just miss the enjoyment of food. Last night I had to get up twice in the middle of the night, and the stomach cramps were rather unpleasant, but I realize it is necessary. I had read on someone's blog that the best way to remedy the cramps was to down a glass of water after having the tea. Well, I did that, and it didn't work for me, obviously. But, I don't really mind, I realize that cleansing and detox are a process, and when you're getting rid of bad stuff that has been sitting in your system for who knows how long, then I would assume that it will probably be a little painful.

Today has been much better in the mood department. I found myself feeling extremely happy all day. I'm sure the past two days were the height of my detox, combined with hormones, and in a way, that emotional bout definitely released a lot more than toxins for me. I'm stoked that it's already day 6, but I'm definitely looking forward to when it's day 10 and I'll be almost through with this thing!

Luis cooked a beef and potatoes skillet meal this evening that smelled delicious - I imagined I was tasting it as I sipped on my lemonade. lol I've been thinking a lot about all the food I can't wait to eat again, like sushi and hawaiian bbq, but I wonder how my body will feel once I'm done with the fast. I do plan on making better choices when I eat, including eating more raw fruits and veggies, but I'm not sure what'll happen with certain junk foods like pizza... especially cheese. Some bloggers mention that cheese becomes hard for them to digest after doing the cleanse, we'll see what happens with me. Hell, if I'm going the vegetarian route, I would imagine that I will be eating a lot more cheese!

My tongue is not as furry as it used to be, but it is still white. I'm looking forward to when it clears up, although it isn't really bothersome, and hopefully it does before Day 10.

DAY 7: January 14, 2008

I've been excreting a lot more waste in the past two days, which I would imagine is very productive. I slept the deepest I've ever slept last night in a long time - I got up once in the middle of the night to use the restroom and literally felt like a zombie because I was sleeping so deeply before some stomach pains woke me up. I had a ton of energy today; I'm sure the deep sleep contributed to that!

I had to go to the grocery store today to buy food for Luis, so I proactively bought a lot of vegetables to prepare for him as well as for my veggie soup (Saturday I will get some veggie soup!! Awww yeah.) I used to just buy bagged veggies in the past, but since I've made a resolution to start saving money, I actually bought real veggies and am making a point to plan out meals so as to be efficient with time and money. I'm excited as this is the new beginning to both Luis' and my new healthly lifestyle. I'm actually cooking for him tonight, so this will be a real test for me, but I imagine I will be fine. I'll just imagine I'm eating the salmon, asparagus, and red potatoes I'm making him as I'm drinking my lemonade.

Day 7 is almost over... only three more days of drinking spicy lemonade!

DAY 8: January 15, 2008

Cooking for just Luis last night was a lot easier than I expected. I've always enjoyed cooking for other people (with the limited amount of things that I know how to cook, but I'm learning!!) so it was enjoyable to make a meal for my man. It was different that I didn't get to eat it, but at least I know what I have to look forward to when I do start eating normally again. I also cooked him bacon and eggs this morning, and even that was easy. I actually was a little repulsed by the bacon, being that it's so greasy, so it made it even easier. It did smell good though, but there was no urge for me to even want to eat any of it.

It's amazing that I'm almost done with this thing. Upon first starting it I thought, man, ten days is a loooooooong time. But, keeping in mind the whole purpose throughout this, along with staying very busy, has made time fly.

I decided that I'm actually going to shorten the 'breaking' of the fast to two days; in one blog (the first link I mention early on in this post), the girl mentions that she is able to have soup broth for lunch on the first day, after having fresh OJ in the morning, and the actual soup for dinner that same day. Then, the second day, have OJ in the morning and soup for lunch, finishing with salad and raw fruits and veggies for dinner. I'm so looking forward to that soup and I'm glad I made the decision to have it a day earlier. Another blogger even mentions having onion soup (no bread or cheese) for dinner on the first day and she didn't get sick. I know everyone is different. It is extremely important to come off any fast gently though, there are warnings that if you go straight back to your normal diet right after the last day that death can occur... not that there have been any reports, but better be safe than sorry. I did read another blog where the person had peanuts and something else, and they felt extremely sick (nautious) and noticed the effect on their entire body. I think I should be ok having the soup on the first day, so long as I ease into it with broth at lunch and then the actual soup for dinner.

Onto the home stretch! Only two days left of lemo!

DAY 9: January 16, 2008

The laxative tea has been doing a number on my stomach the past couple nights, so I'm not going to take it tonight. I've had some stomach pain and had to wake up a couple times both nights. It's all right though, not having the tea on the last night won't ruin anything. In fact, the book recommends not taking the tea if it makes you feel sick or if diarrhea develops. Besides, I have to DJ tonight as well as wake up somewhat early tomorrow, so it'll be more convenient anyway.

I can't believe this is almost over!! I made my batch of lemonade for tomorrow already, so no more having to make the darn mix every morning (although I did make it pretty easy for myself, so it wasn't really a hassle). I actually started watching the Food Network last night so that I could get even more excited about eating solid food again. Then looking at Melissa's food blog made me even MORE excited. I didn't know it was this possible to get this excited about food, and I used to get pretty excited about food before. lol We'll see what my body tolerates at this point. I was putting some junk in there for a long time, cigarettes included.

My tongue is definitely starting to clear up (yay!) so in essence, I'm about ready to come off the cleanse. I'm thinking since I will be eating better in the future, the next time I do the cleanse (believe me, I will be doing this yearly at least!) I won't have to deal with so much furry tongue and stomach pain. I'm blaming stomach pain on the passing of toxins - I'm sure anyone's digestive system will cramp up having to pass toxins. Blech. Or, maybe my digestive system is just sensitive. Everyone is different.

I'm looking forward to this evening as I will get to see Meli AND her new place finally. At least she won't have to worry about dinner with me and Jenny since we'll have our lemo. The nice thing about not having to worry about dinner is that I don't have to worry about spending any money! =P It will be weird though to be at a bar (where I'm DJing) and not having one drink, much less a cigarette! Usually when I DJ, I at least have my cigs and maybe a glass of wine. So, it will be interesting, but at least I won't have to be there all night as I am just playing for the first hour and then can leave whenever after. This will be a true test, but I'm up for it!

Only one more day!!!!!

DAY 10: January 17, 2008

It is the last day! I can't believe it's here. I went to Trader Joe's to pick up the rest of the veggies I needed for my soup and decided to peruse the aisles to pick up whatever looked yummy for when I can start eating normal (as in solid foods) again (which is Sunday!!). I went out with Jenny last night and we both were imagining all the great foods we'll get to eat again, so shopping at Trader Joe's was a treat for my last day on the cleanse. I picked up various snack foods, like crackers and soy crisps to eat with veggies. I even got some mozarella flavored soy cheese as I know I'm going to want to eat cheese, so why not try soy so I can ease my digestive system back into eating normal cheese again. I know I'm not going to give up mah cheese!

I chopped up all my vegetables for my soup (I'll include the recipe in another post along with detailed instructions and tips for the cleanse!) - I decided to make it in the crock pot and cook it overnight since I have errands to run most of the day. I'll be able to take the broth with me for lunch. I'm actually really excited about the soup, I chose a wide variety of vegetables and I'm sure using some organic vegetable broth from Trader Joe's will add to the flavor... and it's slow cooking overnight. Yummm. My mind has been on food for the past two days, but it's been all about healthy food and the prospect of what I'll be able to work with and get creative with. I'm so excited! And so begins more cooking at home! I actually cooked again for Luis tonight - pork chops, mashed red potatoes, and a broccoli/cauliflower au gratin, all from scratch. Now that I'm incorporating vegetables into our diets, I'm looking to get creative so I can cook veggies every day and use them all. And I can cook something different for him since I know he'll remain a carnivore for the rest of his life. Melissa told me how she enjoys planning the week ahead's dinners over the weekend before she goes shopping so that all ingredients bought are used and be used fresh as well. I'm SO EXCITED! I bought tofu from Trader Joe's too, so I'm going to see how creative I can get with that. I really like going to http://www.allrecipes.com/ for recipes on anything (as I did for all of Luis' meal tonight), and I'll add my own twist just to see how it turns out. Cooking is so much fun, and now after being deprived of food for ten days, I'm sure that I will enjoy eating it, as well as appreciating it, that much more.

I've had amazing energy in the past few days as well. I feel like I really got a lot of crap out of my system and literally feel lighter. I've had so much energy that I am constantly doing something, so I've been ultra productive in the past few days. This feels great! I haven't had the urge to smoke cigarettes either. Last night I had to DJ and was surrounded by people smoking and there was not one craving. I've known that it's been a crutch for me, aside from the fact that I did enjoy just taking time out in my day for myself to smoke a cigarette, but I'm realizing that I just need to break my associations I have to it and create new associations with the new and good things I'll be doing for myself from here on out. Now that my mind is more focused on my physical health and wellness and how that directly ties into my emotional AND mental wellness, I'm going to take time out for myself to be able to prepare all the great things for me to put into my body, rather than taking time out to indulge in something that is so terrible for me and ties into making me feel 'bad.' I'm going to stick with this new lifestyle and write about it along the way so as to keep myself accountable as well as remember why I'm making such dramatic changes in my life.

I will report tomorrow how the soup turns out. I'm SO looking forward to it!

DAY 11: January 18, 2008 (1st day of breaking the fast)

Fresh squeezed orange juice was definitely a nice change this morning. Now, the book ('The Master Cleanser' by Stanley Burroughs) actually recommends drinking fresh OJ all day on the first day (as OJ preps the digestive system for eating 'normally' again), but I decided to speed up the 'breaking' process and followed the example set by the girl who writes on http://www.master-cleanse.info/. On the first day after the fast, she actually has OJ in the morning, soup broth for lunch, and then the soup, including veggies, for dinner. Being that I was torturing myself with fantasies of food for the past few days, I figured I'd give the sped up process a shot and see what happens. The book also mentions that you can have rye wafers with your soup, but sparingly, so I got some rye mini-toasts from Trader Joe's to accompany my soup (although the book says no breads, there were no other rye options at the store, and I figured, it's from Trader Joe's, it's all natural and should be ok). The excitement mounted for lunch, as that would be my first taste of my soup. I actually was able to meet Jenny for lunch, so we shared our soup broth lunch together. IT WAS BLAND AS HELL. I guess I was expecting it to be more flavorful as when it was cooking it smelled DELICIOUS. So, it was disappointing... to say the least. It was nice to have something different though. At least the rye toasts saved the meal, although we only ate a few and I made sure to soak them and chew them thoroughly; I just wanted to be careful to ease my system back into solid foods. Dinner remained bland. I had made so much soup as well, so I ended up only saving some of it for lunch for tomorrow and throwing away the rest - I'll be sure to cut my recipe at least in half when I post it so that no more waste happens in the future! And... I kind of cheated at dinner, but not really... I had bought some bruchetta topping at Trader Joe's and figured if I can eat veggie soup, I can have some fresh bruchetta. Thankfully the bruchetta was somewhat pureed from being pre-mixed, and boy was it delicious with those mini-toasts!! I may have overdone it though because after I felt gaseous (both ways... lol) BUT I didn't feel sick. That was what I was most worried about, but I guess since I stuck to veggies and the rye toasts, my digestive system didn't freak out. Another side effect I felt was being a little constipated after I had dinner. I'm sure I only 'felt' constipated as my system hasn't had any solid food in it for ten days now, but it was a bit uncomfortable. I was tempted to drink some of my laxative tea I still had left, but I opted not to and just to allow my system to (hopefully) get everything processed overnight. We'll see what happens.

Tomorrow I'm supposed to drink OJ in the morning, have soup for lunch, and then I can have fresh veggies/salad, and fruit for dinner. Since I know my soup will be somewhat difficult to enjoy at lunch, I decided I'm going to ease in some fruits as well - I'll chop up some banana and apple as a little 'fruit salad' that I can also save to eat with dinner. Then finally on Sunday I can eat whatever I want! At least tomorrow will prove more interesting since I will actually be able to crunch on veggies. I'm going to use olive oil and vinegar with my veggies to give it more taste for sure.

I decided I'm going to classify myself as a 'seafood vegetarian' from here on out - I can easily give up red meat, pork, and chicken, but I just love seafood (especially SUSHI). Besides, salmon is such a great source of omega-3 fatty acids (so many great health benefits, of course in moderation as with everything else you put in your body) which is also found in most other seafoods, shellfish included, and avocados. I'm really excited about this new change in my life! I've been frequenting Trader Joe's as well, and the more I go there, the more goodies I discover that are right in line with my new diet classification. It's about time I had this balance in my life!

DAY 12: January 19, 2008 (Final day of breaking the fast)

I woke up and made it a point to do yoga this morning - I had only done yoga twice during my cleanse, and that was on Day 1 and Day 4. It's about time to get back to my normal routine, especially now that I have some food in me. And, I was able to poop this morning! What a relief... literally! hahaha After doing my class on Veria, I started preparing my lunch. The soup actually was much better today than it was yesterday - maybe because I was expecting it to be bland (rather than expecting it to be ultra flavorful) I actually was able to taste more than I was expecting. This all goes back to how expectations can shape our experiences! I have been dreaming of food for the past few days and how all the food I used to eat would taste that when I first tasted my soup, my expectations were so high that I disappointed myself. Now that I lowered my expectations, they were exceeded! I think it's also my body starting to appreciate the taste of vegetables, and it was actually pretty darn good! I also sliced up a fuji apple and a banana into small pieces and mixed them together. I had half of that mixture with lunch, making sure to chew everything thoroughly. By chewing everything thoroughly, I'm actually enjoying my food more. The fruit was so good! I don't think I've eaten an apple or a banana in over a year. What does that say about my diet before I did the cleanse? Wow. And I didn't experience any gas with this meal, which is a good sign. My body is now starting to digest normally.

Dinner should be exciting! I'm planning on having a salad with romaine, spinach, tomatoes, mushrooms, and baby carrots. I'm definitely using some olive oil and basalmic vinaigrette for some flavor, and some of those rye toasts on the side. And I'll finish up with some of the leftover apple/banana mixture I chopped up for lunch, so that can act as my dessert. Then tomorrow the fun really starts with all the great snacks/foods that I've already bought from Trader Joe's. I'm excited that I'm getting into cooking at this point in time as well; I'll be starting my cooking endeavors in a direction that's right in line with my new 'seafood vegetarian' diet. I'm still planning on cooking meat for Luis, so it'll be fun to prepare stuff for him too and see how he likes it. And since I'll be incorporating a lot more veggies into meals, we can share the sides and I can just make different main courses that'll fit into each of our own food preferences. Onward with health and wellness!

AND THIS IS THE END! I'm surely planning on doing this cleanse again; my goal is to do this once a year. Not only that, I'm determined to stick with my new seafood vegetarian 'diet' (diet being defined as what you eat). I remember how great I felt when I used to eat really well, but now I'm going to take it to a whole new level and start not only cooking healthy, but creatively. There's so much that can be done with food in healthy ways that I'm sure I'm going to have a blast putting stuff together that I know is good for me and Luis. Besides, it's so much better when you know what goes into your food! This doesn't mean I'm not going to indulge every once in a while, but I will will definitely still stick to the guidelines of being a seafood vegetarian through that as well. With that, here begins the new chapter...

Like a Phoenix...

I found these images and the following "story" attached to it on the internet today. The artist is Wei Ning, the piece titled "Phoenix I". He writes:

"In The Classic of Mountains and Seas, Phoenixes have two genders – Feng the feminine and Huang the masculine. But only the feminine side prevails in later Chinese legends. An empress in no exception embodies Feng Huang, celestial bird of the high heaven.

We are talking about a grand bird of five-colored feathers that manifests peace, mercy and kindness. And when present it is said the magnificent beings always glow with the sheen of sunshine - an auspicious sight few has the luck to see. Almost as hard to get a glimpse of are their earthly embodiments. Chinese empresses often waste their lives in the shadow of forbidden walls.

This (referring to the illustration) is a story of reminiscence. On that day, the emperor wedded a woman and made her a phoenix. Truly phoenix she was. Her crown was one of purest gold topped by a finely made phoenix of the most precious of precious stones. Her garment was elaborate, embroidered with gold, silver and five-colored threads that it shone the iridescence of a phoenix. So she was dressed and led to the throne. An auspicious day it was in the empire. The old prisoners were pardoned. A new prisoner was caged. The lady of that day would recall."

I'm in awe of this, as I completely identify with this. Not to say that I'm an empress or anything, but for a while, looking back now, I was "wasting my life in the shadow of forbidden walls." His description of a phoenix, "a grand bird of five-colored feathers that manifests peace, mercy and kindness" are qualities that I hold in high regard. And this is kind of cheesy, but now I feel like Luis is my emperor, as he has and continues to enable me to be me, and provide me with so much love and support in everything that I do. Having that, without having to compromise my values and beliefs and still being a completely independent mind and being, only further strengthens me and allows me to continue my journey of self-discovery.

This next illustration, by the same artist is titled "Phoenix II."

"Three thousand hairs are three thousand karmas. In the far kingdom of east, a lady never cuts her hair which is a present to her birth. And when she does, it is a reborn."

It's crazy how much this exemplifies my "rebirths," as I have completely chopped (SHORT!) my long hair 3 times in my life, 2 of the times being right after I graduated from both high school and college. Both of my graduation pictures with cap and gown I have long, long hair. And graduation is surely a "rite of passage", hence the symbolism I am finding with this. The third time I cut my hair was about 4 months after I separated. I have since kept my hair short for the past 2 years, and only now am starting to grow it out again.

It's amazing to be able to identify with something that is so ancient, such as a mystical figure and the legend behind it. Especially one that is culturally driven, although I am not Chinese, I am most surely rooted in the Far East. How is it that something so ancient and historical can tie so directly in with my life experiences and perspectives? I have a phoenix tattooed on my back, and interestingly enough I got it BEFORE I truly understood its symbolism. And I am just now finding more literature about the phoenix, and to find something like this just blows me away. But it makes me so happy, like that feeling when everything falls into place, because there somehow now is more meaning and significance to my actions (specifically with cutting my hair) in my past. And also to feel that the love of my life is enabling me to continue to grow - I know all too well now what it feels like to be held back, and to be in a relationship where I'm being encouraged to learn and grow, what more can I ask for.

Yoga: Exercising Mind, Body, & Spirit

I went to my first yoga class my freshman year in college (that was over 10 years ago, wow...) but never fully understood the purpose of it. I took the class for extra units, so I didn't go into the class with the perspective of wanting to do yoga for "me" rather, I was fulfilling units and I was possibly getting some exercise. The impression I got from the class was that it was just a bunch of meditating and fixing your body in interesting positions that supposedly strengthened your body. I understood the meditation part, however, back then I didn't really understand "how" to meditate, or focus on myself, much less how putting my body in interesting positions would aid in meditation.

I revisted yoga after I graduated, as a friend started taking classes and encouraged me to go. I learned that there are many different branches of yoga (hatha, iyengar, kundalini, vinyasa, etc.), each focusing on a different aspect such as breathing or positional alignment, for example. I feel fortunate my friend encouraged me to take an iyengar yoga class, which stresses positional alignment which in turn is supposed to aid in internal, as well as external, physical health. My instructor amazed me. She had had both of her hips replaced along with long-term back pain she had been dealing with all her life, so after getting fed up with western medicine, turned to yoga for therapy. She told us her story of how much yoga has changed her life and how she now experiences much less pain then she ever has before. I then began to appreciate yoga for its holistic benefits. I have always been interested in the spiritual aspect, but since I still didn't quite understand "myself" at the time, I didn't really understand what spirituality meant to me. Over the next year, I only began to understand.

Being someone who used to be a "gym rat," the physical aspect of yoga has always been appealing to me. It still does appeal to me, but I understand more now how physical fitness, along with meditation, helps to balance your mind. I have always been active, since I was very young, and naturally could pick up new activities. I also am rather flexible, so when I decided to revisit yoga, I felt that it would be easy to pick up again. I didn't realize how difficult a time I would actually have, and how frustrated I would get initially. We would do single poses, three times consecutively, and our instructor would come around and correct our positioning, constantly reminding us which muscles needed to be flexed all the while others are lengthening and limbs rotating or pointing in certain directions. I would always try to get into the pose as deeply as possible, using my flexibility to get me "there," however I would always find myself being corrected by my instructor, with her reminding me to not rely on my flexibility and to focus more on the parts of my body and what they should be doing in the pose. She even made an example of me in class one day, pointing out to everyone that although it seems that I have an advantage with natural flexibility, I face different challenges in that I must be more aware of my positioning in order for the pose to reap its full benefits, with regards to the physical, mental, and spiritual aspects. I didn't understand at first, but the more my instructor reminded me and corrected me, the more I began to feel the poses and began concentrating more with my mind. The concentration aspect is meditation, where in order to focus on staying in a pose, you must clear your mind of your daily thoughts, or any thoughts for that matter, which are distractions from the task at hand. For me, this is still a challenge, as I have only recently come back to practicing yoga.

After practicing iyengar yoga for about a year, I ended up quitting (mainly because of scheduling issues) and now, three years later, have finally come back to practicing on a regular basis. My reasons for coming back center mainly around calming down my mind and to start somewhere with taking care of my physical being, since I don't necessarily eat well and still smoke. I also feel I have so many more things I worry about these days, and after getting back to practicing yoga on a regular basis I can only now appreciate the mind-calming effects I am only beginning to experience. I've come back to practicing vinyasa yoga, better known as power yoga or flow yoga, in which you flow from pose to pose in a sort of routine the instructor continually guides you through in class. I definitely can appreciate that I've had experience in iyengar yoga, as flow yoga doesn't necessarily focus on exact positioning, but since I have an idea of what the poses should feel like with regards to iyengar philosphy, I feel I can focus more on the flow and centering my mind while somewhat knowing I am also benefiting physically with appropriate alignment and positioning. And then just a few weeks ago, I experienced this amazing feeling while I was in triangle pose (pictured above); I just felt relaxation in my mind, with no thoughts but the feelings of calm I was experiencing and with amazement that I felt completely solid in the pose. And that's when everything clicked. That moment of serenity is something I have been continually working towards, and still continually work towards in my practice, when my mind is free from distractions and the calm only adds to my strength. That realization ties directly to my thoughts of daily life and how we are continually striving towards having those moments when everything falls into place. Clearing your mind of distractions allows you to focus and see something (whether it be getting into a yoga pose or troubleshooting a daily life problem) more clearly, allowing you to do the necessary work to resolve it calmly and efficiently, which then can restore a sense of harmony and peace within you. It's an amazing feeling, yet I know this is only the beginning.

My current instructor is different than my last in that he remains separate from everyone rather than creating personal relationships with his students like my last instructor did; I never see him socializing with anyone in class as he is always just standing around quietly until class starts. Now that I'm beginning to understand that yoga is a personal practice, something I do completely for myself, I can appreciate that my instructor remains solely in that role as instructor and guide, as being devoid of a personal relationship with the person who is acting as a guide on your journey allows you to completely focus on yourself and figure out what works for you. You are given the tools, but you must figure out how to use them yourself and learn the lessons yourself, without comparing yourself to anyone but yourself. In looking back at my past yoga instructor, I appreciate my experience with her and her teachings, however, my ego would always be fed whenever she would ask me to demonstrate a pose and the class would marvel at my flexibility. My current instructor always reminds us that the fastest way to disrespect yourself is to compare yourself to others around the room. You are a unique individual and everyone has a different way of doing the same pose. This is somewhat difficult for me, considering growing up I was a competitive ice skater and all I did was compare myself to my fellow skaters. However, I realize this is an important lesson I must learn to begin to understand myself completely; it really doesn't matter what the person next to you is doing, what matters is what you're doing and if it works for you, so just focus on you. Geez, does this apply to so many things in life. He also draws parallels like falling out of a pose and falling down in life: you just get back up, without being discouraged, and keep going. I appreciate that he draws upon the experiences we have in yoga as life lessons, because they really can be applied in life. Continual work for continual progress and growth, which feeds my mental and physical health, and spirituality-understanding myself allows me to better understand life, the world and my role in it.

And now continues the work, the practice, even though I have already experienced those moments in yoga and in my life, this is only the beginning of work that never ends, but becomes more enjoyable and free-flowing as I continue my yoga practice, my life practice. I will write more as my experience with yoga progresses...